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2006-08-25 - 8:39 a.m. So, it's official. Pluto is no longer a planet. God was taking a look at the solar system after he'd created it (4622 years ago) and something struck him as wrong. "Jupiter*," He said in His infinite wisdom "has too many moons. Let's get rid of this little pathetic one here. Yes, Rolf has to go." God had neglected to file the proper paperwork to let Man know what the real names of the planets and moons were, so no one was aware that the body we know as Pluto was really named Rolf. So God reached out a cosmic finger to Rolf and prepared to flick it out of existence when a thought gave Him pause. "Seems a shame to waste one of My creations," He thought and finally decided to move Rolf out to the fringes of the solar system. "The intelligent life I've created on Phlegm may need it someday." Earth ended up being a more popular name for Phlegm, but God wasn't one to get hung up on labels. "I'll just stick it out here so that when My children eventually reach out to the stars, they'll have a handy place for a base. Rolf, gateway to the stars." The plan never worked out, though. Rolf never got a base and God's Chosen Creation never made it to the stars. It's unlikely they ever will. After all, we've got them jumping through hoops at Sea World for a tasty fish treat. *Interesting bit of trivia that you can use to amaze your friends at parties. Jupiter is the only planet in the solar system that actually ended up with the name God had assigned to it. 
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